The night before chemo

So I was dreading today as I was really worried about getting my hair cut really short! Luckily my friend Maddie did a great job with my funny shaped head and did the best she could! Thank you very much Maddie as I am pleasantly surprised as it doesn't look as bad as I expected it to look. I do look more like a foreigner but it's fine, I will embrace the thuggish look for a few days : ).

I highly recommend anyone to cut their hair short before chemo to reduce the shock of when the hair starts comes out. It will be less dramatic when it comes out in little bits rather than big bunches.

I am currently having a lot of mixed emotions about tomorrow! I am absolutely dreading the corkscrew biopsy tomorrow but at the same time I am looking forward to having gas and air for the first time. I am just a wimp when it come to pain. In regards to chemo, I am looking forward to it as I know it will make me feel better and it will help prevent the cancer from spreading but at the same time I am worried about how it's going to make me feel. I've been really positive about it so far but I am slightly worried I am under prepared and it's going to hit me hard. I can take it though I am just fearing the unknown which is only natural.

I was googling stuff on the Internet and I've read a lot of worrying stuff about Ewing's Sarcoma. I've been reading research papers which are over 10 years old but they all basically indicated that chance for survival for over 15 year olds is far less than the younger. Also if the cancer has grown outside the bone which in my case it has, survival rate is also GREATLY reduced. This was a bit of set back for me and really made me feel down and upset today. I keep reminding myself that the papers and research was over 10 years ago and treatment I am getting now is different than what it was back then. It is making me wonder if the doctors as nurses are not being 100% honest with me and if that's the reason why everyone is being so nice to me. I will have to mention this to them but I guess I should wait and see how the cancer responds to the chemo first.

I do need a pick me up at the moment and having Mike there with me for the whole week will help me a lot as I wont be alone. So I say bring it on!