2am ramblings!

Well it's been half an hour now and I just cannot sleep! I did go to bed quite early as the headache came back and I was starting to feel feverish. The fever has now seemed to have disappeared luckily as I do not fancy another trip to the hospital but now I'm just sweating like mad and cannot sleep. It's surprising as I'm loving the sound of the rain hitting the windows as it falls down when it's really outside quite like tonight.
I am currently kicking myself as I haven't done anything this week as its Sarcoma awareness week coincidently. I think at the moment while I am feeling weak and rubbish I just want to concentrate on getting better and then I want to start raising money for charities! I have been so impressed at how many have been in touch and involved in my case and they all want to help. I am fortunate enough to not need any support at the moment but it's so nice to see where the money for charity is going and how it is used to help people out. Even if it's just wigs for teenagers or complimentary therapies they can help a person out a lot.
So far, I have started donating a lot of my old clothes, I have sponsored some friends walks/bike rides and I want to start getting involved a lot more. First one on the list is a sky dive. I've always said that I would never do one and it's one thing that I would refuse to do. As cheesy as it sounds, I see things a lot different now and every day counts and I want to make the most of everything as you never know what could happen tomorrow. This does not apply just to people that are ill but to everyone.
Also I have now become one of those annoying people who have problem with people that smoke and do not look after themselves. I've always said that I was not going to be one of those people after I quit but I am. My view on people that smoke and don't look after themselves: you are being so incredibly selfish as even though you might think its your choice as it will affect you and your body, well it affects the people close to you who care about you hell of a lot more!! I don't think anyone should be put through watching their loved ones suffer if its avoidable. In the long run, I think it's more emotionally harder and disturbing when the loved one has to watch you suffer and feel helpless. If its avoidable then bloody don't do it!! I know it's easier said than done but once you've experienced pain and suffering and feeling helpless you would understand.
I am just so happy, thankful and lucky to have a great support mechanism around me and i just appreciate all my friends and loved ones! This experience has really showed me who my true friends are, who the genuine people are and which people are just nice human beings. People I haven't spoken to in years have got in touch and offered help which is very nice and I really appreciate the thoughts. It doesn't take a lot to send a message to see how someone is doing even if they don't reply, at least they know you are thinking about them and care.
Right, think this post was a bit of a long one but I just needed to get some stuff of my chest. Hopefully I will be able to go to sleep now otherwise expect another post and I will talk about my fear of clowns...