Onto the next!

So session 2 has now begun. I thought I would quickly post a blog post before I feel to crap and start the long 3 day napping session. I’ve ended up having a good weekend with visits from my family and friends. I’ve always end up feeling great after seeing my friends for it was nice to catch up with everyone before going back into the hospital.

Before going in today, I had my wig consultation. Maddie came along with me as she knows my hair the best and is the hair expert. We were presented with a lot colours and as tempting as it was to go for a wacky rainbow afro, we tried to match it to my natural colour as much as possible. It was a little annoying that for men’s styles the colour options went from light brown to just black which was very limited. I thought that there might have been a few more shades of brown but I ended up going for black. I remember when I was younger, I ended up for some reason dying my hair black and there really wasn’t much difference and no one really noticed. My hair just looked a bit shinier.  The wig has been now put on order so when it arrives I will be going back in and it will be cut to whatever style I want. So I will show her some examples of what my hair normally looks like so hopefully it will not look too bad. I really can’t wait as I really hate wearing the hats. The baseball hats just make me look like a chav and the woolly hats are a little annoying as they are a bit hot to wear at the moment and also my head is like Velcro at the moment as it’s quite stubbly. Although my hair is falling out in places, some of the cells have already regenerated which means that it’s already growing back which is why it’s stubbly. Not on my face though which is great as I won’t have to shave for a long time :D. Oh the perks of cancer.

I am really dreading getting the chemo. Now that I know what to expect and how bad it is, I really just hate the thought of having it. Imagine the feeling of having to go to the dentist to have your teeth removed, you know it’s going to be painful and it’s not a pleasant experience. This is how I feel with the chemo, I don’t want to have it because I know how bad it’s going to make me feel. I think it’s even worse now since I feel really good in myself and don’t have any pain so I think why do I have to have it, but then I look in the mirror and I’m remind of what’s growing inside me. Well it’s not growing anymore and that’s thanks to the chemo. So just need to stop being a wimp and get on with it. There’s actually people who are a lot more worse off than me and I need to snap out of it and appreciate that I’m actually going to be ok and I have the rest of my life to look forward to. On Thursday I met a girl in the waiting room who was 19 and she was told that she only had 6 months to live and she is currently in her 9^th month and she was smiling and it didn’t look like there was anything wrong with her. I actually thought it was her sister that had cancer as her hair looked like a wig but I think she just had a bad haircut. I think that girl is such an inspiration and I’m always going to remember her and think how lucky I actually am. Yes I know it’s ironic saying how lucky I am but I am, this is not a terminal cancer, it’s just a long and difficult treatment process. At least I can plan my holiday for next year and think about the future without worrying if I will be there.