Some of you may not know but my mum still doesn't know about my cancer. This has been a difficult decision I've had to make and many of you will probably not agree with my choice but the reason behind is for the best interest of both of us... me and my mum.My relationship with my mother is a difficult one. First thing that I want to say is that as a mother, she is brilliant. She is very caring and is always looking out for my best interest even though she might not know what they are. The main problem is due to the cultural background, she has never 'moved on with the times' so she is stuck in the old fashioned ways. Some examples: she didn't want me to buy a house until I got married. I should marry a Croatian girl. I shouldn't of moved out of the home and should still live with my parents. She never agreed with my choices and she has never been supportive but she did let me get on with them which I respect her for.
From a young age I was a very independent child. I had a great childhood with many happy memories with my family but I did grow up very quickly. As a young boy I witnessed a war, I watched my parents get discriminated against, I watched my parents struggle with money, I watched them work like honest people and work really hard to provide for their family. All this shaped me to be a person I am today and I have my parents to thank for that. I wouldn't change my childhood for a minute as it gave me a drive to make something of myself and make sure that I do not go through the same struggle my parents did. I think my mother always wanted to keep me close to look after me even though I did not need looking after. This is something she never understood and never let go of. To this day she still treats me as a child when I haven't been a child since the age of 11. At that age I was the only one in my family that could speak English and I used to have to ring the utilities companies and arrange payments, I had to take my parents to the post office, I had to enrol myself to a school and take my parents to 'parents evening'.
I've never been able to talk to my mother about anything seriously. If i had any problems, she would either tell me to rely on god or she would lecture me at how it was all wrong and not give me and advice or how to deal with it. I could never talk to her about girls or school problems and I just felt like I was more closer to my friends and my friends knew me better than my mother did. I could always rely on my dad as he would see me for the man that i am rather than a child. So when I got diagnosed I told my dad. I could tell that he was distraught but he stayed strong for me and he understood that i wanted to go back to my own home and deal with it on my terms. He didn't want to push me into doing anything I didn't want to do such as move back in with my parents.
When my mum found out I was sent back from Canada I told her that I had a bone infection and it needed to be treated in UK. She ended up getting really upset and crying in front of me and she kept saying how God was punishing us. She then said that we needed to travel to a monastery in Serbia where they heal people and that we just needed to pray. THIS WAS HER REACTION OVER AN INFECTION?! She also then proceeded to get so upset her blood pressure went really high and she had to be put on some medication as she is borderline diabetic. She also ended up calling all my family in Croatia and telling them how I've got a serious illness and ended up worrying all of them so I ended up getting bombarded with lots of messages. At this point I was not even diagnosed and did not need the extra hassle. She would also ring me crying everyday and wondering how i was even though I was absolutely fine. The only conclusion that i can come up with is that she loves attention and she likes to make it all about her. She doesn't understand what effects it would have on me when she would phone me up and cry on the phone. I thought she was selfish and attention seeking and i just did not need it.
After seeing how she reacted to the INFECTION when i got diagnosed my dad, sis and myself we decided it was best that she did not know the whole truth. This was for her best interest as I think that this would push her over the diabetic edge and also I think she would upset me by phoning me crying everyday. I need my space and I need her to be well as there is no point me having to worry about her as well as myself. Eventually she will find out the truth and she won't take it well but the longer she doesn't know the better. She probably also won't ever understand why we decided to keep it from here but as long as she still has her health, then we've done our job.
I also know that a lot of other mothers reading this will probably not agree with me, but if you knew my mother you would understand.
I've never been able to talk to my mother about anything seriously. If i had any problems, she would either tell me to rely on god or she would lecture me at how it was all wrong and not give me and advice or how to deal with it. I could never talk to her about girls or school problems and I just felt like I was more closer to my friends and my friends knew me better than my mother did. I could always rely on my dad as he would see me for the man that i am rather than a child. So when I got diagnosed I told my dad. I could tell that he was distraught but he stayed strong for me and he understood that i wanted to go back to my own home and deal with it on my terms. He didn't want to push me into doing anything I didn't want to do such as move back in with my parents.
When my mum found out I was sent back from Canada I told her that I had a bone infection and it needed to be treated in UK. She ended up getting really upset and crying in front of me and she kept saying how God was punishing us. She then said that we needed to travel to a monastery in Serbia where they heal people and that we just needed to pray. THIS WAS HER REACTION OVER AN INFECTION?! She also then proceeded to get so upset her blood pressure went really high and she had to be put on some medication as she is borderline diabetic. She also ended up calling all my family in Croatia and telling them how I've got a serious illness and ended up worrying all of them so I ended up getting bombarded with lots of messages. At this point I was not even diagnosed and did not need the extra hassle. She would also ring me crying everyday and wondering how i was even though I was absolutely fine. The only conclusion that i can come up with is that she loves attention and she likes to make it all about her. She doesn't understand what effects it would have on me when she would phone me up and cry on the phone. I thought she was selfish and attention seeking and i just did not need it.After seeing how she reacted to the INFECTION when i got diagnosed my dad, sis and myself we decided it was best that she did not know the whole truth. This was for her best interest as I think that this would push her over the diabetic edge and also I think she would upset me by phoning me crying everyday. I need my space and I need her to be well as there is no point me having to worry about her as well as myself. Eventually she will find out the truth and she won't take it well but the longer she doesn't know the better. She probably also won't ever understand why we decided to keep it from here but as long as she still has her health, then we've done our job.
I also know that a lot of other mothers reading this will probably not agree with me, but if you knew my mother you would understand.
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